(**Bit of deep personal poetry posted old site in January 23 not long after realising and ending my marriage, a dark and depressing period of my life that is clearly reflected in this piece**)

The hold of a little girl’s hand.

She will never know how much it means to me, to be on a cold winter day, hand in hand on the street.

Her little hand so warm and soft, oblivious of the world around her. A merciless planet, full of suffering, cruelty, discrimination and hate.

Her little hand gripping mine, so youthful, excited and joyous. I will do whatever it takes to shelter this little girl’s hand, hide it from the ugliness that avoids her untainted eyes.

I never thought I’d get to hold this naïve little girl’s hand, full of wonder and beauty. My old and crippled, rugged and broken hand, gripping hers as tightly as my body allows.

She’ll never know just what it means, to hold her little hand.

I hope she never sees what I have seen, feels what I have felt or goes through what I do, every single day.

I once had a little hand like hers, full of optimism, adventure and expectation. Ignorant of the needy, arrogant to my blessing of being once utterly normal and young.

Her little hand brings youth back into a palm ravished by age, a grip dishevelled by time, a person broken by life.

I never want this little girl’s hand to one day hold another’s and appreciate just what it means to me, to hold this little girl’s hand today.

Until I held this little girl’s hand I never truly understood what it meant to feel, with every fibre of my body, to want to protect her from the hurts that this little girls daddy has felt.

Although with sadness in my soul I know she will feel them one day, as this little girls hand navigates it’s way from birth to death. I only hope I can guide her little hand on a smoother journey free from trauma and despair.

I hold this little girl’s hand with endless wonder that it will only know joy, happiness and ignorance.

For ignorance is bliss, enlightenment comes from pain, but a little girl’s hand knows only innocence.

Holding my little girl’s hand…

Is absolutely, fuckin’, everything.